Toetuhl Dramah Eyelind
by EskiLobo
Summary: 24 contestants are coming back to compete in the worst tv competition ever made. I purposely made this poorly. This is for entertainment purposes only, please enjoy!
1. Find Me

**This is a story written out of complete boredom. Please enjoy.**

"Hi. I'm Chris McLean." Said Chris McLean. "This is Total Drama Island except with all the characters from Island and World Tour. Here they all are now."

All the contestants appeared.

"Hi Chris." They all said.

"Ok let's start." Chris said.

Confessionals

Katie: Lol

Sadie: Same

Confessionals

Beth: Omg Justin is here and Alejandro is here, this is so cool

Confessionals

Alejandro: Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he's me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What's in your hand, back at me. I have it, it's an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I'm on a horse.

Confessionals Off

"Okay, teams." Chris said. "Team A is Alejandro, Beth, Bridgette, Cody, Courtney, DJ, Duncan, Eva, Ezekiel, Geoff, Gwen and Harold. Team B is Heather, Izzy, Justin, Katie, Leshawna, Lindsay, Noah, Owen, Sadie, Sierra, Trent, Tyler."

"Aw seriously." said Noah.

"EEEEEEE" said Katie.

"Same." said Sadie.

"Omg Cody." said Sierra.

"Shut up" said Heather.

"Okay, first challenge. find Chef Hatchet." said Chris.

"He's driving the boat." said Courtney.

"Team A wins." said Chris. "Elimination ceremony."

Confessionals

Leshawna: I can't believe Trent just lost us the challenge like that. omg

Confessionals

Katie: Oh my gosh, Trent is so mean. I'm soo voting for him

Sadie: Same

Confessionals

Gwen: Wow we really saw Trent's dark side today. I can't believe I dated that jerk

Confessionals Off

"Lol you scrubs, get guud" said Chris.

"HURRY UP AND ELIMINATE THEM!" screamed Courtney from her cabin.

"Only two people had no votes." Chris said. "Katie and Sadie."

"Omg, no one voted for me?!" Katie squealed.

"Same." Said Sadie.

"Justin is safe, Leshawna is safe, Izzy is safe, Noah is safe, Tyler is safe, Lindsay is safe, Sierra is safe, and Heather is safe." said Chris. "Owen and Trent, only one of you is going home."

Owen and Trent are scared. "Owen. You are out."

"Okay bye." said Owen.

Owen was erased from existence.

* * *

Votes:

Heather: Trent

Izzy: Trent

Justin: Trent

Katie: Trent

Leshawna: Trent

Lindsay: Trent

Noah: Trent

Owen: Trent

Sadie: Trent

Sierra: Trent

Trent: Heather, Izzy, Justin, Leshawna, Lindsay, Noah, Owen, Sierra, Tyler, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen.

Tyler: Trent


	2. Dont Assume

**This is meant for comedic purposes only!**

"hi ladies" said Cody.

"Did you just assume my gender? Did you just call me a lady? Oh my god, you are LITERALLY the most IGNORANT AND ILLITERATE IDIOTI have EVER seen here What gives you the RIGHT to assume what my gender is? Mmh? NOTHING, THATS WHAT. Since you're SOOOOOOO curious, I'll have you know that I am GENDERFLUID. I'm not gonna sit here and explain what that is to someone as IGNORANT as you, but I'm gonna tell you anyways. Being GENDERFLUID means that I am both MALE and FEMALE. I can swap between these genders as a I please. You're ignorance is literally OOZING out." said Courtney

"Same" said Sadie

Katie almost exploded

Confessionals

Katie: omg sadie said same to somebody else. i'm so sad

Sadie: same

Confessionals

Alejandro: Did you that men prefer Old Spice 1 bajillion times more than lady-scented body washes? Did you know that i'm on a horse?

Confessionals

Leshawna: I can't believe Trent is still here, i hope he gets out this time *neck roll, z snap*

Confessionals off

"ok next challenge" Chris said. "Sing a song. best song wins."

Team B began singing:

 _Debbie just hit the wall_

 _She never had it all_

 _One Prozac a day_

 _Husbands a CPA_

 _Her dreams went out the door_

 _When she turned twenty four_

 _Only been with one man_

 _What happened to her plan?_

 _She was gonna be an actress_

 _She was gonna be a star_

 _She was gonna shake her ass_

 _On the hood of White Snake's car_

 _Her yellow SUV, is now the enemy_

 _Looks at her average life_

 _And nothing has been alright_

 _Since Bruce Springsteen, Madonna_

 _Way before Nirvana_

 _There was U2 and Blondie_

 _And music still on M-T-V_

 _Her two kids in high school_

 _They tell her that she's uncool_

 _'Cause she's still preoccupied_

 _With 19, 19, 1985_

"10/10" Chris said.

Team A began singing:

 _Oh I didn't see it coming but it came in a can_

 _Now my sweet son's sprayed into a man_

 _Mine too and hey we know just who to blame_

 _When our sons have fun with women and misbehave_

 _Old Spice! (Psh, psh!) made a man of my son_

 _Now he's kissing all the women and his chores aren't done_

 _He was just my little sweetie, tiny fingers, hands and feeties_

 _Now he's touching kissing feeling all the women because_

 _Old Spice!_

 _New sprays!_

 _Sprayed a man on my son. Now he smells like a man and they treat him like one_

"37x+70328430-3+3289490578^33/10." Said Chris. "Team A wins."

"omg why did you do that Trent." said Heather who was totally triggered.

"im sorry guys, please forgive me." said trent

"ok" said everyone

Elimination Ceremony

Katie was literally drowning in her tears.

"Ok so Lindsay is safe, Leshawna is safe, Heather is safe, Izzy is safe, Trent is safe, Justin is safe, Sierra is safe, Katie is safe, Noah is safe, and Tyler is safe." said Chris. "Trent, you're out."

"omg why" asked Trent "i thought you forgave me"

"We are all in alliance" said Leshawna

"oh ok then"

Trent went to dock of shame and went home.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Heather - Trent**

 **Izzy - Trent**

 **Justin - Trent**

 **Katie - Trent**

 **Leshawna - Trent**

 **Lindsay - Trent**

 **Noah - Trent**

 **Sadie - Trent**

 **Sierra - Trent**

 **Trent - Trent**

 **Tyler - Trent**

 **Elimination Order: Owen, Trent**


	3. Jus

"OMG team why are you bad" said Heather with a neck roll and a z-snap. "omg scrubs"

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm itsssssssssssssssssssssss Trent'ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss faultttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt." said Lindsay. "Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thinkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee willlllllllllllllllllllllll winnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww."

"K" said Heather

"Team B wins cuz Trent left" said Chris. "Team A elimination tiem."ZX

Confessionals

Bridgette: We lost the challenge but it was only fair *makes out with Geoff for 2 hours*

Confessionals

Courtney: I hope losing doesn't hurt my college application

Confessionals

Izzy: I will build a great wall - and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me -and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.

Confessionals

Alejandro: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Confessionals Off

"Beth you are out" said Chris

"Omg guys" said Beth "but justin's juices are here"

"Stuff like that is why you're eliminated you bottle-flipipng lint-licking butt-scratching finger-flopping necrophiliac ." said Chris with a neck snapping neck roll.

"oh okay bye" said Beth.

Beth flew off the island with rainbows coming from her butt cheeks and mouth with a vial of Justin's juices glued to the inside of her singular nostril.

"OH NO MY JUSSES" said Justin.

Without his juices, Justin skin turned egg shell white. "Haha" said Duncan.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Alejandro: You like jazz?**

 **Beth: Hillary Potter and the Election of Walls**

 **Bridgette: Jef**

 **Cody: Beth**

 **Courtney: Cody because he is a gender-assuming society-brainwashed ignorant butthole with no tolerance for the genderfluid people like me.**

 **Dj: Beth**

 **Duncan: Beth**

 **Eva: Satan**

 **Ezekiel: Beth**

 **Geoff: Beth**

 **Gwen: Beth**

 **Harold: Trent**


	4. Periwinkleeeeeeeee

**Smilinggagged: k**

 **MorbidGinger: Thank you kind sir for your generous review, I'd love if you continued to review this story as it goes on. Once again, thank you and I hope you enjoy this chapter and all to come.**

 **Guest: Yo soy triggrd and thnkfulll**

 **VanesspBriefs: same**

 **Otaku Treiger: Exactly what I was going for~!**

"Do you want to build a snowman?" Asked Katie.

"Same." said Sadie.

"DON'T TALK TO ME" yelled Katie.

"sAm3." said Sadie.

"omG HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT" said Katie. "Triggered"

Confessionals

Katie: Sadie needs to chill

Sadie: Seem

Katie: *Externally Screams*

Confessionals

Bridgette: Geoff, I'm breaking up with you

Geoff: Kay *Makes out with Bridgette*

Confessionals

DJ, Sierra, and Lindsay are all together with Cody knocked out on the floor.

Lindsay: Sierra, do you have the hair?

Sierra: Yes. Do you have the knives DJ?

DJ: Yes. We can leave him here with the tools, then we'll return tomorrow.

Confessionals End

"Challenge time" said Chris. "Now you all have to say your favorite color."

"periwinkleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" said Lindsay.

"Lindsay wins because periwinkle is the superior race." said Chris. "Periwinkle privelege. Team a loses"

Confsessionals

Noah: Tyler did a great job winning that challenge for us.

Confessionals

Alejandro: Hello darkness, my old friend, I've come to talk with you again, Because a vision softly creeping, Left its seeds while I was sleeping, And the vision that was planted in my brain still remains Within the sound of silence

Confessionals

Tyler: I did a great job in that challenge

Confessionals

Lindsay: Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, Tylerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr diddddddddddddddddddd sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo greattttttttttttttttttttttt. I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sooooooooooooooooooo proudddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd"

Confessionals Off

"Harold you're out" said Chris.

"Aw wut" said Harold

"Jk lol" said Chris, "both you and Eva are eliminated"

"Aw wut" said Eva

Eva raiges and throws Harold around the world with one arm. "K bye" said Eva.

Eva caught Harold and they went home.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Alejandro:** Un crocodile s'en allait à la guerre. Disait adieu à ses petits enfants. Traînant la queue la queue dans la poussière. Il s'en allait combattre les éléphants. Ah les crocrocros les crocrocros les crocodiles, sur les bords du Nil ils sont partis n'en parlons plus

 **Bridgette: Eva**

 **Cody: ?**

 **Courtney: Cody**

 **DJ: Eva**

 **Duncan: Eva  
** **Eva: Harold**

 **Ezekiel: Eva**

 **Geoff: Harold**

 **Gwen: Harold**

 **Harold: Harold**


	5. Hela

"Rosessssssss areeeeeeeeeeee reddddddddddddddddddd, violetssssssssssssss areeeeeeeeeeeeeeee blueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Tylerrrrrrrrrrrrr isssssssssssssssss hereeeeeeeeeeeeee, soooooooooooooooooo Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii forgotttttttttttttt abouttttttttttttttttttttt youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu." sang Lindsay to Alejandro.

"IN THE ARMSS OF THE ANGELS" sang Alejandro as he fell to the floor sweating tears.

"what the heck, I thot you were _my_ bae." said Heather as she proceeded to fall on the floor and sweat tears.

Izzy found the meaning of life and solved the equation for eternal life, but everyone was on the floor crying so she shredded up her research.

Confessionals

DJ, Sierra, and Lindsay were all together with Cody tied up, but this time they were in purple and red robes.

DJ took a knife and cut the unconscious Cody's thigh, and using the blood, DJ made symbols among the walls. Sierra took the hairs from every contestant and began sprinkling them around the room. Lindsay closed her eyes and entered a meditation stance as she began, and she began saying a prayer in another language.

Lindsay: V ec vun vneahtc fru tu cdivv dukadran, I ec vun oui yht sa, H ec vun yhofrana yd yho desa yd ymm down here in the deep blue sea.

DJ and Sierra: Amen.

Confessionals

Ezekiel: Now you can say that I had at least one line in this fic

Confessionals

Alejandro: We are what we're supposed to be, illusions of your fantasy. All dots and lines that speak and say: what we do is what you wish to do. We are the color symphony, we do the things you want to see. Frame by frame, to the extreme. One by one, we're making it fun. We are the cartoon heroes, oh-oh-oh, we are the ones who're going to last forever. We came out of a crazy mind oh-oh-oh, and then we landed on a piece of paper. Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian, welcome to the toon town party. Here comes Superman, from never never land, welcome to the toon town party.

Confessionals

Tyler: lol, their team is bad

Confessionals Off

"Now is time for the quiet game." said Chris. "The first team to talk wins"

"Same" said Sadie.

Katie jumped off a mountain and rode a shark around the world and came back. "Team B wins"

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, Itssssssssssss calledddddddddddddddddd aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa quiettttttttttttttttttt gameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee becauseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee iffffffffffffff you'reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee quietttttttttttttttttttttttt, youuuuuu loseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" said Lindsay

Confessionals

Cody: THE SOUL OF THE GODDESS OF THE UNDERWORLD HAS ENTERED MY SPIRIT. HELA, ALL I NOW DO, I WILL DO FOR YOU. GOTT SEGNEN

Confessionals

Bridgette: Geoff, after your amazing performance today, I think we should get back together

Geoff: kay

Bridgette: I also think we should also be boyfriend/girlfriend with Duncan

Duncan: Not same

Geoff: Kay

Geoff, Duncan, and Bridgette all make out with each other.

Confessionals Off

"Ezekiel you are out" said Chris.

"y tho" asked Ezekiel

"Because the universe forgot you existed and when it realized you existed, it remembered that it hated you." explained Chris.

A nuclear bomb then landed on Ezekiel, but everyone else was in a bomb shelter already so they were safe.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Universe - Ezekiel**

 **Elimination Order: Owen, Trent, Beth, Eva and Harold, Ezekiel**


	6. Bye Felicia

**ruriko9076: What are you doing in my swamp?**

 **Flashlight237: Meth actually.**

 **MorbidGinger: Thank you for your considerate review on this story. I certainly hope that the quality only goes up from here, and that you, you in particular, enjoy each and every chapter that is to come. Thank you very much mex Ginger (Me using the title mex to avoid assuming your gender as that would be a horrible thing to do to someone so polite and generous as you).**

DJ spontaneously began rapping against Courtney. "YO GIRL"

Courtney screamed, "Did you just assume my gender? Did you just call me a lady? Oh my god, you are LITERALLY the most IGNORANT AND ILLITERATE IDIOTI have EVER seen here What gives you the RIGHT to assume what my gender is? Mmh? NOTHING, THATS WHAT. Since you're SOOOOOOO curious, I'll have you know that I am GENDERFLUID. I'm not gonna sit here and explain what that is to someone as IGNORANT as you, but I'm gonna tell you anyways. Being GENDERFLUID means that I am both MALE and FEMALE. I can swap between these genders as a I please. You're ignorance is literally OOZING out."

"Same" said Sadie.

Katie was so triggered that she forced to Gwen to eliminate herself.

* * *

 **Elimination Order: Owen, Trent, Beth, Eva and Harold, Ezekiel, Gwen**


	7. Total Drama Island

Katie and Sadie were sitting together in the Mess Hall, all alone. "Sadie, there's something I'd like to talk to you about." said Katie.

"Same." responded Sadie in a glum manner.

"Our friendship is really being worked out by this whole competition." Katie said. "I... I still want to be your friend."

Sadie nodded her head in agreement. "Same."

"So..." Katie began, "I think that maybe... Maybe we should eliminate ourselves."

Sadie was shocked. "What do you think?" Katie asked.

"...Not same." Sadie answered.

Katie was caught off-guard. "Huh?" Katie said.

"Katie, I still want to be your friend. Like re-ally bad," began Sadie. "So much that I'm willing to get rid of my stupid catchphrase if it'll save our friendship."

"Sadie, I..." Katie began, starting to cry.

"Look, I know this place is really wacky." Sadie continued. "It really is testing us, it's making life tough and confusing and... And weird. But that doesn't mean we should give up, Katie. That just means we have to try harder. We have to change. We have to sacrifice. But I'm sure it will all turn up in the end. So please, don't give up on me Katie."

"So... So you really want to stay?" Katie asked with a shaky voice.

Sadie nodded.

Katie looked up with watery eyes and a grin. "Same."

* * *

Geoff, Bridgette, and Duncan were all behind the confessional.

"Hey Bridge? There's something I kind of wanted to talk to you about." Geoff said. "And you too Duncan, I guess."

Bridgette and Duncan stopped making out to give Geoff their undivided attention. "Yes babe?" they both asked.

"I... This is... This is too much." Geoff said.

"What are you talking about, Geoff?" Bridgette asked.

"I've been trying to be supportive and really chill and stuff, dudes." Geoff said, "But I can only take so much of all this craziness. We break up, we make out, we get back together and add someone else? I... I can't do this."

"Geoff, are you saying what I think you're saying?" Duncan asked, slightly alarmed.

"Uh, yeah dude... Dudes." Geoff said. "I think... I think I'm breaking up with you... Both of you... For good."

"Geoff?" Bridgette said. "Geoff, are you serious? Y-You can't! I m-mean..."

Bridgette's eyes began to grow watery. "I know I've been growing really adventurous and selfish and stuff," Bridgette confessed. "But I'm willing to stop. I will stop. Geoff, maybe it's time _you_ took the lead."

Geoff shook his head in disapproval. "Bridge, I just don't think that'll work. I really think this is how we'll have to end it. If it went on any longer, it just... It wouldn't be natural dude..."

Tears began to stream down Bridgette's face. "But dude," Geoff said as he lifted Bridgette's chin with his fingers, "it was nice while it lasted."

* * *

Confessionals

Bridgette: I absolutely regret everything. I was way to controlling and wishy-washy. *Sniff* Maybe it's better this way.

Confessionals

Sadie: Katie, I'm so happy that we resolved all that drama. That was really, like, headspinning.

Katie: heehee, same~

Confessionals Off

* * *

"Alright everybody, it's challenge time." Announced Chris through a megaphone.

"I'm absolutely ready for all possible nonsense!" Courtney said in excitement.

* * *

Confessionals

Courtney: You see, I looked it up, and losing actually _does_ effect my chances into getting into my dream college. Very subtly, but that's a risk I'm not willing to take.

* * *

"This challenge will be entirely based on memory." Chris said. "What was the first word a contestant has every said in this season? Answer that question, and your team wins.

"Ittttt wasn'tttttttttt periwinkleeeeeeeeeeee... orrrrrrr Helaaaaaaaaaaa..." Lindsay thought aloud. "Orrrrr atttt leastttttt Iiiiiiiiii don'ttttttttttttt thinkkkkkkkkkkkk itttttttt wassssssssssss..."

"Let's see, let's see..." Courtney said. "Um... Common words are, uh... The? What? Where? Hello?"

Angst was growing in Courtney's voice. "Feel free to tell me when I've guessed it, okay Chris?"

"Ohmygosh, the answer is like soooooooooooooooooooooooo obvious." Sierra laughed. "Any true Total Drama fanatic, like me, would record every single word spoken on this island."

"No! Noo! Don't say it!" Courtney pleaded as she continued to guess aloud. "I? Welcome? Good?"

"What the heck are you waiting for?" Heather snapped. "If you know the answer, say it you crazy purple-braid geek."

Despite being offended, Sierra gave the answer. "Hi. The first word was hi."

"Correctamundo." Chris announced. "Team B, you are on fire! Team A, we've got another elimination ceremony to get to."

* * *

Confessionals

Courtney: Son of a-

Confessionals

Alejandro: It's not about the money... I guess... Ay dios mios...

Confessionals

Leshawna: Haha! This team is on _fire_! I like the sound of that, Chris!

Confessionals Off

* * *

"Well, you've all cast your votes." Chris said. "And the one eliminated i-"

"HOLD IT!" Bridgette objected. "I quit."

"Huh?" Geoff gasped.

"You heard me, I quit." Bridgette said.

"Whelp, looks like everyone voted for nothing." Chris said. "Bridgette, your boat awaits."

"Bridgette, is it because of what I said?" Geoff asked.

"Bridgette, are we still, you know, a thing?" Duncan asked. "Is this over?"

Bridgette ignored all questions and walked to the Dock of Shame. The boat came and Bridgette went home.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Alejandro - Geoff**

 **Bridgette - Bridgette**

 **Cody - Geoff**

 **Courtney - Geoff**

 **DJ - Alejandro**

 **Duncan - Geoff**

 **Geoff - Alejandro**

 **Elimination Order: Owen, Trent, Beth, Eva and Harold, Ezekiel, Gwen, Bridgette.**

 **Don't fret, this will most likely be the only chapter like this. My boredom took a turn~**


	8. BackToStatusQuo

"Waitttttttttttttttt, soooooooooooooooooooo theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee handdddddddddddddd onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn theeeeeeeeeee rightttttttttttttttt issssssssssssss theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee righttttttttttttttttt handddddddddddddddddd?" Lindsay asked.

"THOU ARTLESS BEATLE HEADED FLAX WENCH," Cody began, "YES."

"Butttttttttttttt thattttttttttttttt doesn'tttttttttttttttt makeeeeeeeeeeeeee senseeeeeeeeeeee." Lindsay moaned.

"YOU DENSE, DENSE, IDIOT!" CODY SHOUTED SO LOUDLY THAT THE REST OF THE STORY HAD TO BE IN ALL CAPS.

CONFESSIONALS

CODY: I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM, OR WHERE I AM, OR WHO PUT ME IN THIS HORRIBLE BODY, BUT THE UNDERWORLD IS BETTER THAN THIS WRETCHED PLACE.

CONFESSIONALS

ALEJANDRO: I GOT THE MAGIC IN ME, EVERY TIME I TOUCH THAT TRACK IT TURNS INTO GOLD. EVERYBODY KNOWS I GOT THE MAGIC IN ME. WHEN I HIT THE FLOOR THE GIRLS COME SNAPPING AT ME. NOW EVERYBODY WANTS A BLAST OF MAGIC, MAGIC, MAGIC. M-M-MAGIC, MAGIC, MAGIC. M-M-MAGIC, MAGIC, MAGIC, AH OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'VE GOT THE MAGIC IN ME

CONFESSIONALS OFF

"OKAY GUYS, THIS TIME THE CHALLENGE IS TO SING A SONG." CHRIS SAID, "AND THE FIRST PERSON TO SING WINS FOR THEIR TEAM."

EVERYONE LOOKED AT ALEJANDRO AND ALEJANDRO DID NOTHING. THEY STARED AT HIM FOR YEARS AND YEARS UNTIL DJ PASSED AWAY FROM STARVATION. EVERYONE WAS SO UPSET THAT THE REST OF THE STORY WAS UNDERLINED IN BOLD ITALICS AND LOWERCASE.

 _ **"since dj diedified, does that mean that there's no elimination?" duncan asked.**_

 _ **"lol no, u thot." said chris. "someone still needs to sing."**_

 _ **everyone stared at alejandro some more. "why are you guys staring at me?" alejandro asked. "i hate singing."**_

 ** _courtney bottle flipped her body over a rainbow and landed on her head and was perfectly fine._**

 ** _"oh i know a song" said heather. "oh wait i forgot it."_**

 ** _"oh leshawna, do you know that song?" izzy asked. "the one with the lyrics?"_**

 ** _"oh, the one that person sings?" leshawna confirmed._**

 ** _"yeah." said izzy._**

 ** _"oh yeah i'll sing it." leshawna said._**

 ** _leshawna opened her mouth but lindsay and noah entered a rap battle instead._**

 ** _lindsay dropped the first bars. "you'veeeeeeeeeeeeeee gotttttttttttttttttt aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa headddddddddddddddddddd flatterrrrrrrrrrrrrr thannnnnnnnnnnnnnn aaaaaaaaaaaaaa poolllllllllllllllllllll tableeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee anddddddddd yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr armssssssssssssssssss stayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy attttttttttttttttttttt aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa weirdddddddddddddd angleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr emptyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy affffffffffffffff chinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn isssssssssssssssss noooooooooooooooooo gooddddddddddddddddddddd, growwwwwwwwwwwww someeeeeeeeeeee faciallllllllllllllllllllll hairrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. anddddddddddddd yourrrrrrrrrrrrrr uglyyyyyyyyyyyyy afffffffffffffff shortsssssssssssssssssssssssss onlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy coverrrrrrrrrrrrrr yourrrrrrrrrrrrrr entireeeeeeeee legsssssssssssssssssssss, probsssssssssssssss cuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz they'reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee soooooooooo bareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."_**

 ** _noah dropped the next bars. "cash me outside, how bout dah."_**

 ** _"did you just assume that she had cash?" courtney screamed, so triggered that the text went back to normal except every paragraph had to be spaced with horizontal lines and there were carrots instead of spaces._** "I'll^freaking^fight^you."

* * *

"I^didn't^assume^anything."^Noah^responded.^"I^know^that^she^has^cash."

* * *

"oh^okay."^Courtney^responded.

* * *

"Courtney,^you^are^eliminated^for^assuming^that^he^assumed^stuff."^Chris^said.

* * *

"But^I^assumed^that^you^wouldn't^care^if^I^wrongly^assumed^that^he^assumed^stuff."^Courtney^said.

* * *

"How^dare^you^assume^that^I^wouldn't^care^if^you^wrongly^assumed^that^he^assumed^stuff."^Chris^said^like^totally^like^triggered.^"Courtney,^you^are^double^eliminated^."

* * *

"k^bye."^Courtney^said.

* * *

Courtney^went^home^and^the^text^went^back^to^the^status^quo.

* * *

 **Elimination Order: Owen, Trent, Beth, Eva and Harold, Ezekiel, Gwen, Bridgette, DJ, Courtney, Courtney**


	9. Font tastic

**SmilingGagged: That will never happen again, I promise**

 **Vanessapbriefs: shhhhh, Cody's demonism is a secret. That's why I wrote about it.**

* * *

 _ **"I'm^a^demon" Cody^announced^to^the^world.**_

"Cody, we're talking in regular fonts now." Chris said. "You're eliminated for not keeping up with the story."

* * *

 **Elimination Order: Owen, Trent, Beth, Eva and Harold, Gwen, Bridgette, DJ, Courtney, Courtney, Cody**


	10. Confession Time Minus Confessionals

Geoff woke up and saw Lindsay in the corner of the room, bathing in DJ's blood. Lindsay hissed and ran into the forest. Geoff went back to sleep.

* * *

"Dude, why are we the last ones on our team dude?" Geoff asked Duncan. "Dude, that's like lame, dude."

"your dead to me and i hope you die in a fire you make me sick you broke up with me that's not okay i hope you die forever jerk geez i have feelings and you stabbed them not literally but hypothetically oh wait that's the wrong word you stabbed them metaphysically and figuratively geez you jerk i'm sorry i'm really conflicted because i still love you haha jk no i don't i hope you fell for that because i don't like you suck go eat booboos from the bois' restroom you jerk-scrub gosh gosh gosh i literally can't even you're so heartless and you better be listening to me while i'm talking to you cuz if you aren't then grr grr very much you are no bueno es no bueno no es bueno yeah see i know other languages by breaking up with me you miss out on all **this** yeah that's right scrub how dare you break up with me if anything i should have broke up with you but whatever i was just being nice by letting you date me even though we never went on a date and we never really started dating but we were going out sorta oh my gosh i'm about to cry this is a very emotional rollercoaster for me please hold on a sec... okay thank you i guess you ought to be at least a little nice since you waited for me i'm sorry if i'm hurting your feelings but i really need to vent this out what you me and bridgette had was really special and it ended so quickly it was hard for me to take you know but i'll try to adapt i'll try to be strong if i can at least *sigh* i'm glad i got that off my chest anyways have you heard of this show called the beast it's a very good show you'd really enjoy it if you enjoy wipeout or ninja warrior it's an international television show that takes place in california, usa different contestants from south korea, usa, germany, brazil, japan, and mexico all compete to quote unquote beat a beast and after someone wins they are put into a bigger tournament in the same game show much like ninja warrior except easier in my opinion you know i think i should go on that show do you think i should i think i should it looks like a lot of fun one of the contestants was blind with one eye so he inspired me to believe that i can compete on that show too which country would you root for i root for south korea most of the time and usa at other times oh oh oh speaking of usa what do you think of trump you know he wouldn't support our relationship oh my gosh speaking of our relationship your dead to me and i hope you die in a fire you make me sick you broke up with me that's not okay i hope you die forever jerk geez i have feelings and you stabbed them not literally but hypothetically oh wait that's the wrong word you stabbed them metaphysically and figuratively geez you jerk i'm sorry i'm really conflicted because i still love you haha jk no i don't i hope you fell for that because i don't like you suck go eat booboos from the bois' restroom you jerk-scrub gosh gosh gosh i literally can't even you're so heartless and you better be listening to me while i'm talking to you cuz if you aren't then grr grr very much you are no bueno es no bueno no es bueno yeah see i know other languages by breaking up with me you miss out on all **this** yeah that's right scrub how dare you break up with me if anything i should have broke up with you but whatever i was just being nice by letting you date me even though we never went on a date and we never really started dating but we were going out sorta oh my gosh i'm about to cry this is a very emotional rollercoaster for me please hold on a sec... okay thank you i guess you ought to be at least a little nice since you waited for me i'm sorry if i'm hurting your feelings but i really need to vent this out what you me and bridgette had was really special and it ended so quickly it was hard for me to take you know but i'll try to adapt i'll try to be strong if i can at least *sigh* i'm glad i got that off my chest anyways have you heard of this show called the beast it's a very good show you'd really enjoy it if you enjoy wipeout or ninja warrior it's an international television show that takes place in california, usa different contestants from south korea, usa, germany, brazil, japan, and mexico all compete to quote unquote beat a beast and after someone wins they are put into a bigger tournament in the same game show much like ninja warrior except easier in my opinion you know i think i should go on that show do you think i should i think i should it looks like a lot of fun one of the contestants was blind with one eye so he inspired me to believe that i can compete on that show too which country would you root for i root for south korea most of the time and usa at other times oh oh oh speaking of usa what do you think of trump you know he wouldn't support our relationship oh my gosh speaking of our relationship your dead to me and i hope you die in a fire you make me sick you broke up with me that's not okay i hope you die forever jerk geez i have feelings and you stabbed them not literally but hypothetically oh wait that's the wrong word you stabbed them metaphysically and figuratively geez you jerk i'm sorry i'm really conflicted because i still love you haha jk no i don't i hope you fell for that because i don't like you suck go eat booboos from the bois' restroom you jerk-scrub gosh gosh gosh i literally can't even you're so heartless and you better be listening to me while i'm talking to you cuz if you aren't then grr grr very much you are no bueno es no bueno no es bueno yeah see i know other languages by breaking up with me you miss out on all **this** yeah that's right scrub how dare you break up with me if anything i should have broke up with you but whatever i was just being nice by letting you date me even though we never went on a date and we never really started dating but we were going out sorta oh my gosh i'm about to cry this is a very emotional rollercoaster for me please hold on a sec... okay thank you i guess you ought to be at least a little nice since you waited for me i'm sorry if i'm hurting your feelings but i really need to vent this out what you me and bridgette had was really special and it ended so quickly it was hard for me to take you know but i'll try to adapt i'll try to be strong if i can at least *sigh* i'm glad i got that off my chest anyways have you heard of this show called the beast it's a very good show you'd really enjoy it if you enjoy wipeout or ninja warrior it's an international television show that takes place in california, usa different contestants from south korea, usa, germany, brazil, japan, and mexico all compete to quote unquote beat a beast and after someone wins they are put into a bigger tournament in the same game show much like ninja warrior except easier in my opinion you know i think i should go on that show do you think i should i think i should it looks like a lot of fun one of the contestants was blind with one eye so he inspired me to believe that i can compete on that show too which country would you root for i root for south korea most of the time and usa at other times oh oh oh speaking of usa what do you think of trump you know he wouldn't support our relationship oh my gosh speaking of our relationship your dead to me and i hope you die in a fire you make me sick you broke up with me that's not okay i hope you die forever jerk geez i have feelings and you stabbed them not literally but hypothetically oh wait that's the wrong word you stabbed them metaphysically and figuratively geez you jerk i'm sorry i'm really conflicted because i still love you haha jk no i don't i hope you fell for that because i don't like you suck go eat booboos from the bois' restroom you jerk-scrub gosh gosh gosh i literally can't even you're so heartless and you better be listening to me while i'm talking to you cuz if you aren't then grr grr very much you are no bueno es no bueno no es bueno yeah see i know other languages by breaking up with me you miss out on all **this** yeah that's right scrub how dare you break up with me if anything i should have broke up with you but whatever i was just being nice by letting you date me even though we never went on a date and we never really started dating but we were going out sorta oh my gosh i'm about to cry this is a very emotional rollercoaster for me please hold on a sec... okay thank you i guess you ought to be at least a little nice since you waited for me i'm sorry if i'm hurting your feelings but i really need to vent this out what you me and bridgette had was really special and it ended so quickly it was hard for me to take you know but i'll try to adapt i'll try to be strong if i can at least *sigh* i'm glad i got that off my chest anyways have you heard of this show called the beast it's a very good show you'd really enjoy it if you enjoy wipeout or ninja warrior it's an international television show that takes place in california, usa different contestants from south korea, usa, germany, brazil, japan, and mexico all compete to quote unquote beat a beast and after someone wins they are put into a bigger tournament in the same game show much like ninja warrior except easier in my opinion you know i think i should go on that show do you think i should i think i should it looks like a lot of fun one of the contestants was blind with one eye so he inspired me to believe that i can compete on that show too which country would you root for i root for south korea most of the time and usa at other times oh oh oh speaking of usa what do you think of trump you know he wouldn't support our relationship oh my gosh speaking of our relationship-" Duncan was very rudely interrupted by Geoff.

"dude, oh yeah, alejandro is still on our team, dude" Geoff said.

"did you legitimately forget about alejandro's existence that is _so_ mean now i'm glad we broke up your true colors have been shown your a dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, dirty, ugly, mean, rude, impolite, tasteless, inconsiderate, evil, sadistic, cocky, selfish, pitiful, cowardly, oblivious, atrocious, shallow, lame, tacky, brash, repetitive, idiot." Duncan said.

"dude, k, dude." Geoff responded.

"k guys challenge time" Chris said. "the challenge is to find DJ's corpse."

Leshawna sassily took her handy-dandy x-ray out of her pocket and used it on Lindsay. inside lindsay were DJ's remains.

"dude, dang it, I wish I knew that she ate DJ, dude." Geoff sighed.

"kk lol elimination time scrubs." Chris said.

=1.5 seconds later=

"k the votes r in, you are out Duncan." Chris announced. "Any last words?"

"yes." Duncan said. "bye. K bye."

Duncan then phased through the ground and ended up in China and he ate legitimate Chinese food.

* * *

 **Elimination Order:** **Owen, Trent, Beth, Eva and Harold, Ezekiel, Gwen, Bridgette, DJ, Courtney, Courtney, Cody, Duncan**


	11. Not Doneth Yeteth

Chris looked at his calendar. He had not aired a new episode in more than a year, and that meant one thing. Obviously.

He had to blame someone for this.

And eliminate them.

"LESHAWNA!" Chris holla'd.

Leshawna stopped breeding the sharks and appeared on top of Christopher. "Wazzup fam."

"tell sierra she'S eliminatreded." Chris totally demanded dramatically.

Leshawna took a deep breath to make an articulate response. "no."

"Why not?"

"no."

Chris wept. For days. Days, upon days, upon days. Years even, decades, centuries.

Then he took a time machine back to the past and replaced the version of himself that was crying. "that was a very eLoqUent antser, Lefondaniqua. Tell Noah he's eliminaterded."

"k"

Noah was listening all along. He heard every last word of it.

Except he was blind in both eyes so he heard nothing, especially the canonical wrecking ball of elimination striking him in the face and smashing him towards the moon.

* * *

 **Elimination Order: Owen, Trent, Beth, Eva and Harold, Ezekiel, Gwen, Bridgette, DJ, Courtney, Courtney, Cody, Duncan, Noah.**


	12. Chao Qhan

"READY, DUDES? MARCH LIKE FORwARDS, DUDES" Said Drill Sergeant Geoff.

In the past year, a lot had changed. Alejandro began speaking fluent nothing, Cody began breathing the smell of dead pansies, Geoff became a drill sergeant, Heather left the island for like 6 months and came back, Izzy learned how to ballet backwards, Justin and Sadie started dating, Katie and Leshawna like totally wear the same mascara, Lindsay hasn't changed tbh, Sierra became obsessive over herself, and Tyler stole Beth's identity.

""Alejandro said.

Geoff backhanded Alejandro so hard that he missed and hit Justin.

"NOTSAME" Sadie said.

"SAME" Katie said.

Little did they know, Beth-Tyler was stealing Sadie's essences.

"u r all bad and dum" said Heather.

DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING

"u sed the majik wurd!" Chris said.

"dum?" asked Heather.

"nooooooooooooooooooo, heeeeeeeeeeeeeee meantttttttttttttttttttttt uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu." Lindsay said.

"yes." Chris said.

"yes." Heather said.

"yes." Drill Sergeant Geoff said.

"yes." Beth-Tyler said.

"yes." Katie said.

"Same." Sadie said.

"yes." Justin said.

"" Alejandro said.

"yes." Sierra said.

"yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss." Lindsay said.

"YOUR SOUL IS MINE." Cody said as he absorbed Beth-Tyler's soul.

Beth-Tyler turned to stone and evaporated.

* * *

 **Elimination Order: Owen, Trent, Beth, Harold and Eva, Ezekiel, Gwen, Bridgette, DJ, Courtney, Courtney, Cody, Duncan, Noah, Tyler (Beth-Tyler).**


End file.
